Leadership and team development experts increasingly emphasise the importance of empathy, serving as a pivotal factor in fostering relationships, resolving conflicts, problem-solving, and driving business growth. While some individuals naturally embody empathy, all of us find it challenging to cultivate sometimes. Think back to that time when your colleague submitted a critical piece of work late to you and you missed your deadline. You may have immediately become critical and thought “they’re so inconsiderate, I have to do everything around here”. When you respond with critical thinking, you cut off the opportunity for empathy and the ability to understand that your colleague was asked to do three additional tasks by your manager with the same deadline that week. While you might have empathy most of the time, it can be hindered at certain points, particularly when we’re tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, or feeling unappreciated. It’s at these points where it’s critical to learn techniques to reduce our inner critic and function above the line to demonstrate good teammateship.
Three types of empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of someone else. There are three core types of empathy; (i) compassionate empathy: the need to react and help in any way you can; (ii) cognitive empathy: the ability to rationally understand a person’s feelings and thoughts; and (iii) affective empathy: the ability to experience the feelings of other people. Whether you identify with one or none of these types of empathy, each can be created through specific techniques and an openness to learn.
The power of curiosity
Curiosity is one of the biggest tools you can utilise in developing empathy during times of stress and pressure. Simply by asking questions that help draw out and paint a picture of someone else’s experience or perspective is how we demonstrate our curiosity (e.g., What thoughts are you having at the moment? What feelings are you experiencing? How are these thoughts/ feelings impacting you? How can I support you?). Our thoughts, feelings, and experiences are invisible to others unless we voice them. Once they’re voiced, they can be heard and taken into consideration. By asking the right questions and seeing others’ perspectives and experiences in situations, you can start making more informed decisions and take considerate actions, ultimately strengthening relationships and driving positive outcomes.
Empathy and curiosity intertwine seamlessly, particularly in conflict management scenarios. Empathy inherently triggers curiosity about others', while curiosity fuels an empathic understanding of underlying meanings in conflicts. During conflicts, strategic questioning can bridge empathy gaps, facilitating a collaborative approach to problem-solving. Imagine the impact of asking a person to tell us more in the face of a complaint, accusation, or polar opposite view (e.g., “You seem really certain of that, tell me more/what led you to that view”). By demonstrating curiosity, individuals not only gain insights into others' perspectives but also make them feel valued and heard, fostering cooperation and receptivity to joint solutions. Ultimately, empathy and curiosity work together to forge stronger connections, promote understanding, and facilitate effective conflict resolution within teams and organisations.
While empathy may not come automatically to everyone in all situations, it is a skill that can be developed and refined through intentional practice and a growth mindset. By embracing empathy and curiosity through leadership and team development efforts, organisations can foster stronger relationships, resolve conflicts more effectively, and create environments where individuals feel valued, respected, and empowered to thrive.
To enhance your ability to manage relationships and conflict more constructively, contact our team at Veraison to discuss how we can support you to get the most out of your team.